Monday, March 1, 2010

It Don't Make Sense

"No, it don't make sense to me
To put her in the cold and lonely ground.
And no, it don't make sense
The way the world can let you fall ...
I swear it don't make sense to me at all."
Jason Robert Brown

DAY 143:  I hadn't seen Bonnie in probably close to 30 years.  Our families have been longtime friends since Bonnie's mother worked with my father.  She and her older sister grew up in the same small Connecticut town as my brother and I.  We lived right down the street from one another and went to the same high school, where Bonnie was one year ahead of me.  No, I hadn't seen Bonnie in decades, though we would always visit her Mom when we took a trip home to Connecticut.  Tragically, I won't be able to bridge those years and see Bonnie again ...

Last Thursday night, something terrible happened - something so incomprehensible that I'm still having some difficulty wrapping my mind around it.  Perhaps it's just so awful that it CAN'T be comprehended.  Bonnie apparently had a very turbulent marriage and had only months ago filed for divorce.  There was a history of protective restraining orders that her husband continually violated, with only small fines as punishment.  Last Thursday night, she called 911 as her husband broke into her home ... the line went dead and when the police arrived on the scene, they found Bonnie, who had been stabbed repeatedly.  She lived long enough to name her attacker and identify his car, and they later found him after he reportedly attempted to take his own life.  Bonnie was 51 and they had no children.

It's really really really hard to find ANYTHING to be grateful for in this situation.  I've wondered much of the day how I can possibly begin to express sympathy for grief that can't be explained and certainly can't be consoled, particularly from a great distance.  In fact, the wake is occurring right now as I write this.  I'm not a religious person, so it's hard for me to say "she's in a better place."  Given the circumstances, I don't think it's a fair statement for a woman whose life was cut brutally short.  So, I'm going to hang on to the gratitude that Bonnie lived long enough to name her murderer and that her husband did not succeed in taking his own life.  I'm liberal in many areas, but criminal justice has NEVER been one of them.  I am grateful that he has survived to face justice and is put away for as long as humanly possible for this horrific act.


  1. AND be grateful that you knew her. She was a friend and is to be remembered as such.

  2. I have many fond memories of Bonnie and Lauren as we were growing up. Although they were both much older than me, they never made me feel as if I was a nuisance. Whether they were babysitting me or attending the same picnics as we did, I always felt close to them.

    I cannot imagine Lauren without Bonnie. Much like I cannot imagine what life would be like without my brother. Maybe that was the connection, they were two sisters and we were two brothers growing up in very similar times and circumstances.

    I pray that God give Lauren and their Mom the strength they need in this terrible time for them.


    PS - I too would like to see justice done in this case, but it has nothing to do with jail cell.