Sunday, April 4, 2010

How Can I Win?

"How can I learn to trust enough
And to stop believing all I hear are lies?
Open my heart, but just enough,
To keep an open mind ... but never close my eyes
To the dangers I alert myself,
Making efforts to assert myself,
And discovering ways to hurt myself
That no one else has tried.
How can I win if I'm not on my side?

How can I dare to feel again
If I can't let go of past mistakes I've made?
Living through each ordeal again -
The faith that I misplaced, the price I overpaid.
I've been able to endure enough,
But I must not want the cure enough.
I get back on my feet and sure enough -
My hopes and fears collide.
How can I win if I'm not on my side?

I live each day like emotions are at war,
But I don't remember anymore
Just who or what I'm fighting for.

When will delight be mine again?
Will it come or can it be that it's too late?
I want the sun to shine again,
But I must walk away from the shadows I create.
And though I tell myself it's safer just to hide,
How can I win if I keep retreating?
Cheating myself is self-defeating.
How can I win if I'm not on my side?"
David Zippel

DAY 177:  I was driving down to South Ponte Vedra Beach for Easter dinner with family friends while listening to the "My Favorites" playlist on my iPhone.  Although I adore EVERY song on this playlist, these lyrics (from the musical The Goodbye Girl) have always had special meaning for me ...

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